JUST SMART NEVIDAD

I don't know why I feel compelled to share this dream with all of you. Maybe in hopes that others have similar experiences and will make mine seem less odd.

I think dreaming is strange in general, why can't we just close are eyes and sleep the whole night? We have to be awake when we don't want to, why can't it be the same for sleeping? Why does something so pleasant have to be so difficult?

So last night I dreamed that my house was the set of some TV show, I wanna say it felt like Desperate Housewives, but I've never actually seen the show. Anyway, I was in the kitchen and there were bleachers at the other side with people sitting in them and some type of reunion show going on. In my dream apparently this was normal. I went to the cupboard and opened it up to see it filled with Chocodiles (this really is my dream). If you've never had a Chocodile, do yourself a favor and run down to your nearest Hostess store or gas station and purchase one. I'm sure you'll shortly after write Hostess a letter and thank them for creating such a delicious treat. However please add in your note that you'd like to see them package them in two's like their Twinkie brothers. I watched a show on it once (sad I know) and they stated that they felt the one Chocodile was enough. How is one Chocodile enough, but one Twinkie isn't? Don't bother me with excuses of calories, you care about as much as McDonalds does and are responsible for obesity in America as well, but I still thank you for the Ding Dong (from the freezer), Suzie Q, and the Chocodile.

Back to the dream. So at some point one of the actresses runs over to the bleachers in excitement and picks up this small Caucasian boy and thanks him for coming back to the show, but when I turn around this little boy was a black girl dressed in an outfit made of intricately cut sponges. Then she started saying highly inappropriate things (I'm sure she was related to Lakisha). I couldn't believe what she was saying, but here's the worst part--these were my thoughts, I am the dreamer here. I'm like the puppet master and these people are just actors in my dream.

I am obviously not bothered by this and start collecting my things to head out for my tennis match. I glanced at the TV and saw a commercial for why you shouldn't let your kids swim with sharks. It was a shot of a little boy swimming in the pool; the camera angle was at the bottom of the pool looking up at a boy swimming, and it shows the shark swimming up behind him. It then cuts to an aerial view above the pool and as the shark swims over...no more boy. I work in marketing and I was sorely disappointed in my brain for coming up with this commercial. One, why was there a shark in the pool? Two, though I do think swimming with sharks is dangerous and maybe kids should be warned, it seems fairly obvious and there was no need for marketing dollars wasted to create an actual commercial. Lastly, the view of the shark swimming alone in a pool was kind of haunting--too much for an audience.

After the uncomfortable commercial that, again seemed normal to me, I ran out the door to my tennis match. Upon getting there I walked past a Dad who was trying to give his adult son a kiss on the lips before the game. I don't know where most of these thoughts came from, but we were just talking the other day with friends that some parents still kiss their kids on the lips. Some of us found this odd and uncomfortable, especially with the same gender children, others found it normal...you? Up to what age if ever?

I finally made it to this much anticipated tennis match and they were calling out names. I ran to a table of uniforms looking for mine. It was of course the last, but on the back instead of my last name being printed on it, it said, "Just Smart Nevidad" in Gothic lettering...I don't know why I knew it was mine, but I did. This must have been a deep thought of the annoyance of growing up with people trying to do funny puns with my last name. I don't know why the "Nevidad", it isn't even correct Spanish, nor is it funny.

So that's when I woke up. My question is, should someone with these thoughts be allowed to have a wife and children? Why aren't my thoughts clear or the jokes actually funny...I'm concerned. Try to look this up in a dream book.