Thursday, December 9, 2010

Will he pay?


This is Ryan. I have the worst luck in the world-I really think I do. When I say world I mean the micro-world of people like us...you all reading this blog. There are lots of worlds out there and in the Mormon-Suburban-married with child-trying to make a living-I have the worst luck. I promise you. Go ahead and hide one broken item in a stack of new ones--I'll pick the broken one without fail. Longest line in the grocery store, restaurant, gas station-don't worry it's mine. Hours with customer service on hold because they've, "never seen or heard of this happening before?" common language to me. Male-patterned baldness in a full-head-of-hair family? Needs glasses while the rest of my family sees things in crystal 20/20? Rare kidney disease-I'll take one. Bought real estate in 2007 when it was a "steal", while working for a home builder-you got it. Slender frame while mid-section of body is disproportionately soft and flabby? Table of one-okay that one is my fault, but I am painting a picture. Wrong mission call in the MTC and had to finally ask where I was going? Nice to meet you, I'm Ryan. That one worked out well-Chile sounded awesome but I wouldn't have done well with cold showers, lots of dogs and no Mexican food. Houston was disgusting enough, but it had great food.

Whatever shouldn't happen or isn't supposed to does-it's okay I've been numb for quite some time and I bake in a small amount of failure and set back into every situation. Like the time this weekend when a small Indian boy on a bike hit my car. Yeah that happened in real life. I didn't hit a biker-a biker hit me-while I was stopped. I was consulting on a Saturday in the beautiful city of Ontario, CA which smells like cow crap, pollution and dead people. While waiting to turn right from a parking lot onto a street-"WHAM!" I saw some shadow from my rear view mirror fly by. I looked up and saw another kid riding his bike. I threw my car in park and jumped out and prayed I wouldn't see dead human lying behind my car. This poor kid with huge eyes popped right up and started profusely apologizing saying it was his fault, he was going too fast. I was stunned, I didn't know what to say...I asked him if he was alright, if anything was broken...Do they cover getting hit by a biker while stopped in Driver's Ed...?

The poor kid shattered my tail light, but I was just glad he was okay. I got his cell number and told him I'd have to call his parents for insurance but that he wasn't in trouble and it was no big deal. I called him later-the parents didn't speak English (of course)-so the poor kid had to translate things he didn't know. They asked for my driver's license number and license plate and said they'd call their insurance and would call me back. I text him the next day and said my tail lights were $118 total, I'd install them myself, and gave him my name and address and said he can pay me if he wants, but I'm just glad he's okay. So the question now is:

A. Will I get an honest family and receive a check in the mail for $118-possilby with a note in the memo line that says-Sorry, thanks for understanding
OR

B. Get a call from a lawyer saying I hit their kid and I'm being sued...

***I also slightly wished I could have seen the kid hit my car-that stuff kills me on You Tube

14 comments:

v a n e s s a said...

my guess is C. you never hear from them again. i doubt a non-english speaking family is going to do much. i got in a fender bender with one and he never even notified his insurance.

all this will pay off one day i'm sure. i started feeling truly sorry for you after all this but then remembered that you have a great job, awesome wife and darling daughter, live in ladera ranch, and i don't believe you are balding at all!

i do feel your pain on choosing the slowest line. david is jinxed with that one too. every time.

david said...

This is all mental. You just need to will the bad luck out of your life and you will be cured.

I've taught Vanessa this as well, and she has been an average student. She hasn't been able to will away celiac disease (yet). I hope you can make me proud.

Brenda said...

I believe your true calling is becoming an author....I love your sense of humor. You are the amazing person you are because of life challenges. If you would have filmed this incident, you could have become a very wealthy man...again, not in the Ryan Smart card deck.

MediocreMama said...

I don't think you'll see the money.

But I don't think you'll get sued either.

But if you ever want to compare notes, Tod would give you a run for your money in the bad luck department. I have a hunch he might even win.

Ryan Smart said...

Holly-it's on. Next time we're in Vegas we'll have a Bad Luck Dinner. Neither Tod or I can choose the location because we'll probably get food poisoning-or like the time I walked a mile to grab a fountain soda and they happened to ALL be out of order. You name the place-it will be fun.

Carrie said...

I'd have to think about my evidence, but I've always had pretty bad luck too:) I'm sure you'll NEVER hear from them again! I'm impressed you thought to ask for his parents number...not having another car involved, I wouldn't have thought to ask for their insurance! AND I can't believe he broke your taillight with just him and his bike. That's weird!

Julie and Kyle said...

i have to correct you... you weren't "just glad the kid was okay"... you were pissed that he did that to your car. hence the blog post dedicated to it.

Amy said...

Oh man Ryan I AM SORRY! However, yes, I would have loved to see that on video. You do have bad luck except when it comes to your awesome wife and baby. Glad you have a great sense of humor about it all. You won't see the money, that's my opinion.

The Davenports said...

hilarious!! Sorry that you have so much bad luck but this post sure did make me laugh!!

Chase and Nichole said...

Ha Ha Ha! I wish I could have seen that on You Tube as well. If I were you and if that kid was really okay I would have just said "Alright see ya around"! I really don't think you will get sued, the parents probably still don't even understand what happened anyway. You will probably never hear from them again

Nichelle said...

now when you say Indian do you mean from India? i have to clarify now because all of my 80 year old plus ward calls Native Americans Indians. it REALLY confuses me. do you prefer bad luck or for people to stick their foot in their mouths and/or make offensive comments your whole life because of your ethnicity? the other day i asked my neighbor kids father if it was ok if i took their little boys to the park cause i was going with oscar. he said "we don't go to that park." the little 3 year old screams "yeah cause there's mexicans there!" then the dad hits him and shooshes him

Lonnie and Lindsay Fox said...

Ryan- Come on now, you really dont know bad luck. Come live a day in our life. And even then, I would say we are blessed. Count your blessing. Tis the season to do so!! It was very hilariously written though, I will give you that. I mean that in the nicest way. I always like to be blunt!!

lauren ann said...

I said it before, and Ill say it again... you should become a columnist. I just may have laughed out loud and have a tear running down my cheek. You kill me. So fun to hang out with you guys- always a good time

Scott said...

Ryan, I had a surprisingly similar experience in the middle of the Chicago hood about 3 or 4 years ago. I was driving a rental van and a black teenager on a mini motorcycle t-boned me as he was going the wrong way on a one way street through an intersection (nevermind the whole riding an illegal motorcycle on public streets). Clearly his fault, but nonetheless he started getting "fresh" with me about how I was going to pay to fix his motorcycle. I called 911 and the police rushed to the scene... about 20 minutes later. Random white guy in the hood, with a bunch of irate black people thinking I was trying to run down their kids... let's just say it could have ended a lot worse.