Saturday, April 18, 2009

10 lbs in 6 weeks...wanna bet?

My Dad bet me $20 (he's cheap) that we could lose 10 lbs in 6 weeks. Needless to say I took him up on the challenge. Now many of you are saying, "Ryan you don't need to lose weight, you're not fat." I am not saying I am fat, I am saying I have fat. This fat gathers around my belly button, my love handles and my hiny. Please don't roll your eyes, I know it does, because when I go fast over speed bumps or run down the stairs there is a jiggle that lasts slightly longer after I have stopped. Not to mention that my stomach hangs safely over the seatbelt like a hen gathereth her chicks. I also now have a nervous habit of cupping my fat gently in my hands when I am laying down and squeezing it in a passive aggressive nature. But if you still don't believe me ask my pants that I can't wear or the ones that gave a slight tremble and cry the last time I tried to put them on. 10 lbs--not that much, but a big difference.

I have more reasons than just this bet as a reason to get the weight off, here they are:

1. This is what I looked like a year ago...not too shabby


2. My 10 year highschool reunion is in June--need I say more

3. I am training for a triathlon sprint in August at Camp Pendleton. It is not a triathlon at a sprint pace, it is a shorter triathlon. I would die instantly in a real triathlon

4. I was invited recently to join a group on facebook of all the Ryan Smarts on facebook. This is the profile of one Ryan Smart. Now I am sure when many of you searched for me for the first time, you accidentally clicked on this image thinking it was me....thank you. I am sure this Ryan Smart doesn't have a beautiful wife, baby, or the everlasting gospel, but he has abs and I would like some.


5. My wife keeps freakishly losing weight and I gotta keep up

Here is how I am going to acheive my goal:

1. Running--I hate it, but it works so well, and I do feel great when I am done

2. Little to no carbs-I love me a carb, but everytime I eat them they rear their pudgy heads in the aforementioned areas.

3. I drink my breakfast. Usually fresh fruit, juice, flax seed, and a little yogurt...delicious

4. A lot more salads. I always hate when people say they'd rather eat a salad or fresh fruit than candy or dessert. If natural foods tasted so good then why did we spend billions of dollars and scientific brain power to make articial flavors, oils, and other confectionaries? They taste better.

5. p90x-Best and most difficult work out in the world-I hate it and I love it.
6. Get tan-tan fat is better looking than white fat--and like poultry it is all pastey and fat when it's raw, but when you cook it it gets golden and shrinks a little--I'm looking for similar sciences.
7. Drink a lot more water-I use the bathroom every 15 minutes because my body rejects this clear, foreign substance void of carbonation, carmel color, and traces of aspertame and lime, along with other natural and artificial flavors.
8. mild starvation--it works

If anyone out there has any other great advice for my 6 week endeavor, please share. I'm down 3 pounds in 2 weeks--7 to go.

17 comments:

Brenda said...

Hey Ryan,
This is your cheap Dad...when was $20 cheap? I'm spotting you three pounds since I just got back from eating at Rockin Baja Lobster, ate a bucket of lobster, shrimp, and chicken all dipped in butter. And when I was done with that, I stopped and bought a yogurt. Game on!

Kirby said...

Scott really enjoyed number 7, he knows of your relationship, or lack there of, with water. You are hilarious. I have no doubt that you will lose the weight. I too will be jumping on that bandwagon very soon. Keep me posted!

Brittany and Derek said...

Haha- ryan you are funny....Too bad breastfeeding isn't an option...that's a surefire way to go!

echolsfamily said...

I just read Justin your post. We thought it was hilarious! We wish you good luck in your endeavor, we know you can do it!

nikki said...

Let me know how that drinking water business goes. I hate that stuff.

The Yardley's said...

you are such a woman.

Tolly and Lennon said...

Well don't get pregnant because so far it hasn't helped me lose any weight...

And call it a Sprint Triathlon, not a Triathlon Sprint (just so no one makes fun of you on race day). I've done eight and they are a blast.

AND! For me, deprivation causes problems. So if you DO want some carbs, enjoy some. But just not as much. When I try to completely omit things from my diet, I end up going crazy later. Moderation my friend, it's called the Word of Wisdom.

But I'm currently 28 lbs. overweight so don't listen to a word I've said.

Kathy said...

Haha, you crack me up Ryan. If your plan works you'll have to tell me all about it because in the next few weeks I'll be wanting to take this baby weight off.

amy said...

You are hilarious! - And for the record - breast feeding was absolutely NO help at all in the weight loss department for me! Good luck!

Greggory & Kate said...
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Alana said...

You kill me! I am laughing!

Chase and Nichole said...

Good for you! You really sound exactly like CHase. He is for sure not fat either, but is discovering fat in places he never had before! I still think he is dead sexy though! Wish I had good tips for you but I don't. Good luck. Talk to you soon!

Erin and James said...
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Erin and James said...

i was peeing my pants at this. partly because i feel the same way about myself. hillarious. your husband is hillarious!

Amy said...

Can I get in on that action? If I'm going to be sporting a swim suit anytime soon, I'll need to loose some serious weight. I agree with tan fat looking WAY better than white fat. I'm hoping once I move I'll have that going for me. You are too funny for words! Will I get to see you at all this summer?

Karen M. said...

I wish you good luck! It might be tough to loose 10 since you probably don't need to loose 10. We are waging our own war up here and not doing so well. So far, I've gained and Bob is the same. So much for eating less and exercising more. We're not sure it really works!

lauren ann said...

You crack me up..... Good luck with the P90X- that dude rocks my world, and sometimes makes me vomit a little. Hard-core. I can't wait to see the rock hard abs all covered in oil picture in 6 weeks.