With a sprint triathlon and tropical vacation on the horizon...as well as a small attempt to keep up with the beauty that is Ladera Ranch-I purchased a membership to 24 Hr. Fitness. I go to a cycling class at 5:30 AM some mornings and swim and lift other evenings. In my time there I have noticed a drastic difference between the AM gym goers and the PM ones. I will share my findings and look to you for thoughts and comments. It can be fairly summed up that most AM goers go for health and fitness where the PM goers go for beauty and social. Let us take a closer look:
The AM goer-This early riser has been making goals since the womb-maybe even using the umbilical cord as a tiny jump rope or rock climbing aid. They are wholesomely good looking, very much like Lance Armstrong or Mia Hamm. They do not notice, nor care that you are there. They've probably eaten the same thing for breakfast for 10 years-all of it nutritional and well balanced. With them they come armed with nutritious snacks, beverages and heart monitors. They shop at REI and JCrew. You'll hear words like Nasdaq, portfolios, acquisitions in their business vernacular and they probably listen to talk radio, 7 Habits podcasts or CNN. Their clothes are labeled, pressed, dry-cleaned and put on in a routine manner. In their offices they will probably have those SUCCESS posters framed-you know the ones with everyone rowing at a T.E.A.M. (Together Everyone Achieves More)-though most are don't prefer working closely with others. They are older, mature, married, have been married or married to their careers.
The moms probably woke up at 4, checked off their color coded calendar and made lunches for their kids that include something from each of the food groups-most likely purchased at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Slicked-back hair, no make-up, yoga pants and still look good. These are the AM Goers. The gym as whole is much quieter though intense vibes of commitment and stamia fill the air.
The PM Goer-This is a smattering of folk. The PM goer come to the gym to look good, be noticed and socialize-like if Starbucks was a gym. There are always the early-in-the-year-New Year's Resolution-ers that are tired of their montly donation to 24 Hr. so they try yet again. They can be easily spotted; they don't look happy, maybe sprung for a trainer adn are wearing those Shape Up shoes that my friend kindly described as trying to bail water out of a sinking ship with a teaspoon( these shoes won't get you fit, nor will your walk around the office park at lunch). Back on track. The PM men and women are very atrractive Hollywood-style. They come in hand with Smart/Vitamin Water (women) or Energy/Protein Drinks (men) and whatever else else is promised to shred you. Lots of sleeveless shirts (the ones that go all the way down to the waist), hair product, tight clothing, multi-colored headphones and other "sick" gear. Conversation is geared much more around how much you're benching, your next multi-leveled business adventure and what has happend on Idol, Real House Wives of Beverly Hills...or Jersey Shore.
The music is louder, lots of heavy grunting, people are louder, high-fives and hugs are bountiful, the hot tub is bubbling with conversation and high school kids are sweating fully clothed in the sauna of flexing in the mirror (not kidding). People are eyeing themselves in the mirror, peeking at your machine or treadmill to see if they are on a higher setting, or checking out people to both compare themselves or for mating purposes. This is the PM Goer.
Where do I fit in you ask? Neither...naturally. I am in my own group-the Desperately Determined Goer. I admire the efficiency, stamina and business sense of the AM goer but also have strong opinions about Idol/Bachelor and secretly worship Ryan Seacrest. I want the humbe confidence of the the Am-er and the body and multi-colored headphones of the PM-er. Maybe I even spot one guy who looks like my size and body style, if I were actually ever in shape and note what he's doing and casually copy him after he moves on. I am trying to legitimize my career and adulthood while still grasping to my trendy youth. I'm not sure it can be done but I can try. I often hear the phrase, "..well it's RYAN..." followed by some look of mutual understanding and agreement. I'm still not sure if it's meant to be an insult or compliment, but I'll take it and run. This is where I leave you. Thanks for listening.
12 comments:
Please find a magazine or newspaper to submit your columns; I guarantee they would be published!
Erica, your husband is really funny. I always laugh when I read his posts. I can imagine you guys laugh together a lot.
I agree with your mom... quit your day job and you 17 other jobs.
You brought me back to social hour at Gold's in P-town. nasssstttyyyy.
haha love this post!
This is hilarious and so true. However,I would love to hear your take on the mid-day goer, now these are the real winners. You would be shocked at how many men are at the gym at 10:00. Not to mention these people watch the View..enough said.
funny! your posts always crack me up!
haa, this is true. i remember going to the gold's gym on 9th east in provo and seeing girls in the bathroom putting on makeup before their workouts. naturally this was not early in the morning...
also, i am really curious to know why you worship ryan seacrest.
and also we really want to make the domincan happen!
I'm proud of you, Ryan! First for going and showing your true dedicaiton and secondly for not loosing your sense of humor along the way~ People watching at its best!
hahahaha. i agree with lauren. you brought me back to gold's gym in p-town. sick. bro. sick.
i agree with your mom....you are a great writer! it's worth a shot- not that you need the extra work!!! hated going to the gym after work hours- still do (although the energy is better!)
What about the mom hours between 9-10 am where overworked, underappreciated moms show up to their kickboxing class and throw punches like you've never seen simply because it's the only hour for just them all day?
That's when I go.
I did the early morning thing after both boys and it wore me out. Those people really are hardcore.
So what about the mid-morning goer? Like 11:25? The mom who leaves precisely 20 minutes of work-out time before kindergarten pick-up just to say she went, and does a half-committed jaunt on the eliptical even though everyone knows that's about as useful as the shape-up shoes? Certainly not the looks of a pm goer nor the discipline of the am goer... but still there? It's got to count for something right?
Jenny mentioned this post to me today at church and I just had to peruse the blog until I found it. I knew I'd enjoy it... Hope that's not too weird. It always feels a bit obsessive to have to hit "older posts". What a DARLING little girl you have.. And congrats on the new pregnancy!
Post a Comment